


like a landscape painting in the sky

by laminy



Series: and the night followed day, and the story tellers say [18]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Declarations Of Love, Domestic Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24408439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laminy/pseuds/laminy
Summary: Two years together, and Ben and Gwil are extraordinarily happy and in love. Better yet, Ben is well on his way to loving himself too.(takes place in December 2041)
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Gwilym Lee
Series: and the night followed day, and the story tellers say [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1438129
Comments: 20
Kudos: 29





	like a landscape painting in the sky

Ben wipes the steam off the mirror, sighing a bit as he looks at himself standing there, towel wrapped around his waist. He turns a bit to the side, and then touches his stomach, then he lifts his arm up, gently running his fingers over the dark ink of his tattoo. He frowns a bit, and then sighs again, shaking his head and grabbing his toothbrush. 

As he brushes his teeth, he keeps looking at himself in the mirror. It’s not easy, but it has been getting _easier_. Even since the wedding, just a few weeks ago, when he couldn’t even get ready with Rami in the bathroom shirtless. It seems odd, and for anybody else it might not have been a big deal at all, but ever since he saw Rami and Joe’s wedding photos, _really_ saw himself through someone else’s eyes, how happy he looks, how big his smile is, the way he looks at his mates and Gwil, and the way they look at him…it helps.

It also helps that he and Gwil have been together, officially, for over two years now, having just celebrated their anniversary a few days earlier. Which, where that time went, Ben has no idea. Two years, and they live together, and have two cats, and a real life. It’s safe to say that Ben thinks he’s doing better than he ever has. 

He looks at his chest again, reaching up to gently trail his fingers over his muscles, and then he turns a bit, glancing at his back. Ben keeps brushing his teeth, spitting the foam out into the sink. He nods as he rinses his toothbrush off. He’s doing well, but he could do better. And he will. He gives himself a quick smile and nods, and then turns, walking out of the bathroom towards the bedroom.

“Oh, hello,” Gwil says, smiling at him as he walks by, looking Ben up and down. “Going somewhere?” he asks.

“To get dressed,” Ben says, smiling.

“Oh, that sounds terribly boring,” Gwil says. “Do you need a hand?”

Ben grins at Gwil and rolls his eyes, but he reaches out, taking Gwil’s hand anyway, pulling him towards the bedroom.

\+ + + + +

Ben watches Brian’s guinea pigs run through the tunnels that he has set up on the floor in front of the bookcase, smiling as they scurry around, turning around to go through another tunnel, and then another. Ben picks up a piece of tunnel that neither of them are in, and then moves it closer to where they are, and they immediately run out of the tunnel they’re in to go through that one instead. “They bloody love these things,” he says softly, and he looks over at Gwil and Brian, who are sitting at the table, watching him in amusement. “I…sorry, should I not?” he asks.

“No, absolutely, please,” Brian says, “I’m sure they enjoy the company.”

“Okay,” Ben says, and he turns back to the guinea pigs, watching them run around. Brian has him and Gwil over once or twice a week, even if it’s just for a quick cup of tea, and a few times, they’ve invited Brian up so that he can spend time with the girls and Gwil can make supper for him. Ben’s sort of listening to them chat; some of Brian’s mates are in Gwil’s painting course, which Joe did not let Gwil live down when he found out, joking (but not really) about Gwil being an old man in a young man’s body, and about how Ben must have a thing for grandfathers.

One of the guinea pigs runs over to Ben, climbing up on his lap, and he smiles, picking it up and holding it to his chest as he continues going through the bookcase, running his fingers along the spines of each book. Brian seems to have more interests than Ben can count, and he also seems to have no problem with Ben treating him as his own personal library— not that Ben doesn’t also actually enjoy his company. And the company of the guinea pigs.

“Oh no,” Gwil says, taking a sip of his coffee, “I don’t think we’ve seen the trailer for that one. Love? Have we heard of— what is it, _Viper in the Creek_?”

Ben shakes his head. “No, it doesn’t sound familiar.” He looks over at Brian. “Does it look good?”

“Oh yes,” Brian nods, “it looks delightfully weird and creepy.”

Ben snorts a bit at that, looking back at the bookshelf. “Title of Joe’s biography,” he says quietly, and Gwil grins, looking back at Brian.

“What’s the next thing you’re going to see at the Playhouse?” Gwil asks, and Brian drums his fingers on the table, thinking.

Ben reaches out, taking a small book off the shelf, looking at its cover— a starry night sky. Brian glances over at him, and Ben holds it up.

“Quite interesting if you’re into astrophysics,” Brian says, and Ben makes a bit of a face, but he starts flipping through the book anyway. Brian looks at Gwil, giving him a quick smile. “Might it interest you?” he asks.

“Oh, uh…” Gwil shrugs. “Um. Honestly, astrophysics isn’t really my… _thing_ , I suppose you’d say.” He reaches up, scratching at the back of his neck. “As odd as that may be, given the circumstances.”

“Oh, no,” Brian says, shaking his head, “I can see the appeal in biology. Much more tangible, you can really put your hands on it.”

“He just really likes flowers,” Ben says, gently petting the guinea pig as he starts to read the book, and Brian smiles at Gwil.

“Well, that too,” Brian says. “Who doesn’t?”

“I am quite enjoying that book you loaned me about superbugs,” Gwil says. “It’s _immensely_ fascinating to read about how bacteria and antibiotics have developed over the past century.”

Ben bites back a smile at that, rolling his eyes as he flips to the next page of the book.

“Ben’s not much for science, is he,” Brian says pointedly, looking at Ben as he says it with an amused smile on his face.

“No, he is not,” Ben says softly. “Can I borrow this though? It seems like a quick read, if nothing else.”

“Of course,” Brian says. “Ben, are you sure I can’t get you a tea or anything? You know you don’t have to sit on the floor.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Ben says, looking up, smiling at Brian. “I like being near the pigs. Unless…is it rude?” he asks, ready to push himself up.

“I certainly don’t take any offence to it,” Brian says, “I just didn’t want you to think we were making you sit down there, or excluding you.”

“Not at all,” Ben says, and he smiles at Gwil as well before he looks back down at the book.

“Do either of you skate?” Brian asks.

“Not me,” Gwil says, taking a sip of coffee, and Ben reaches up, pushing his fingers through his hair.

“Not really, no,” Ben says. “Bit shit at it.”

“The rink opens here soon,” Brian says. “That’s why I asked. Aber is really quite lovely in the winter. I don’t want you to think it’s all boring and grey.”

“The Christmas tree in the square is lovely,” Gwil says. “That’s proof enough for me. Besides, I think it’s quite grown on us, hasn’t it?”

“Absolutely,” Ben says. “Just in time for us to head back to London for most of January.”

“And then the baby’s due in March,” Gwil says. “So.” He smiles at Brian. “That’s rather exciting.”

“Very,” Brian says, “new life is always so wonderful. And they don’t know if they’re having a boy or a girl?”

Ben shakes his head. “They want to be surprised.” He looks up, smiling. “Trust me, it really doesn’t matter; those two will be pleased as punch either way.”

“That’s very sweet,” Brian says. “And are you two hoping for a boy or a girl?”

“Oh, I…” Gwil smiles, shrugging. “I don’t know. I have plenty of nieces _and_ nephews, I don’t think I’m hoping for either one in particular. I’m just excited to meet them.”

“And I just…” Ben smiles as well. “I don’t know. Either or.” He makes a quiet noise, looking back at the book. “A girl might be nice,” he says softly, mostly to himself.

“Can I interest you in a quick board game?” Brian asks, pushing his chair back.

“Sure,” Gwil says, nodding. “Love?”

“Yup, coming,” Ben says, and he carefully lifts the guinea pig off his lap, and then stands up, walking over to the table with the book in his hand, taking a seat next to Gwil. He holds the book out for Gwil to look at, and Gwil flips through the pages.

“Going to become an astrophysicist instead?” Gwil asks, smiling.

“I think we both know the answer to that,” Ben says, settling back in his chair. “But I can expand my interests, can’t I?”

“Of course, love,” Gwil says, handing him the book back and leaning in to give him a kiss at the same time.

“Carcassone?” Brian asks, holding the box in his hands as he walks back to the table. “Great for three players.”

Ben nods eagerly, bringing his chair in closer to the table. “Sounds perfect,” he says, smiling at Brian.

\+ + + + +

After they say goodnight to Brian, they walk back upstairs to their flat, kicking off their shoes. Gwil sits down on the sofa next to Peaseblossom, and Ben sits down next to him, dropping the book on the coffee table, bringing his legs up and resting them on Gwil’s lap.

“Mustard is on the dining table again,” Gwil says flatly, and Ben looks over at her, sighing.

“I…I’m too lazy to go get her,” Ben says. “Why doesn’t she learn?”

“I don’t know, love,” Gwil says softly, rubbing his thumb over Ben’s bare ankle, where his jeans have ridden up. Both of them just keep looking at her, and Ben reaches up, tiredly rubbing his eyes, but neither of them move to pick her up. “You know,” Gwil says suddenly, “there’s a new painting course starting next term, once this one’s done.”

“What is it?” Ben asks, shifting and climbing onto Gwil’s lap, snuggling closer to him.

“It’s called _Intriguing Insects_ ,” Gwil says, and Ben makes a bit of a face. “They bring in specimens for you to paint from.”

“Oh gosh, bring Matthew over for the term,” Ben says, “you two can paint butterflies and take secret special science notes together.”

Gwil laughs. “You know, I didn’t even _think_. What a good idea!”

“Are you signing up for it?” Ben asks, picking at his thumbnail.

“I’m not sure,” Gwil says. “They also have one on watercolours and _shells_. I bet that would be lovely. Sea shells have so many beautiful colours; I’d like to try it. But I also know we won’t be in Aber as much next term, and I don’t know if should spend my time taking another painting course. Especially not when I start volunteering.” He twists his ring around his finger, thinking.

“Are you okay?” Ben asks, looking at Gwil.

“Hmm?” Gwil asks, looking over at him. “Oh, yes. Just thinking.”

“About?” Ben asks.

“Being busy again,” Gwil says, and Ben nods. “Sounds odd. Scary.”

“It won’t be, though,” Ben says. “You’ll be brilliant. Everybody likes you, you’re smart, you’re great at everything you try. You can handle ten hours a week at the library. I promise.” He smiles, and leans in, giving Gwil a kiss. “But if you can’t, that’s alright too. Baby steps, right?”

Gwil scoffs a bit at that, smiling. “The baby will probably be taking _actual_ baby steps by the time I’m comfortable being back to work,” he says, and Ben chuckles, grinning.

“That’s one hell of a genius baby, then,” Ben says. “Because it won’t take you that long at all, I promise.” He reaches up, curling his fingers against Gwil’s face, gently scratching his beard, smiling. “I’m proud of you,” he says softly.

“I haven’t done anything,” Gwil says.

“That’s not true,” Ben says. “You’ve done a lot. It’s just hard to see because it’s lots of little things, over a long period of time.” He gives Gwil another kiss. “You’re brilliant, you know.” He lets out a quiet yawn and snuggles a bit closer to Gwil. 

“Should we put something on?” Gwil asks, gently rubbing Ben’s back. “Or are you ready for bed?”

“No, I’m alright,” Ben says, groaning and shifting off Gwil’s lap, dropping back onto the sofa, stretching out. “What do we want to watch?”

“Let’s see,” Gwil says, grabbing the television remote with one hand, while he goes back to rubbing Ben’s ankle with the other.

\+ + + + +

Ben looks up when he hears his name being called, and he immediately smiles when he sees Gwil walking up the hill towards him.

“Hello, love,” Gwil says, leaning in to give him a kiss, and then he takes Ben’s hand as they start walking together towards the road. “I hope you weren’t waiting long, it’s quite a bit colder than I was expecting.”

“No, I’m alright,” Ben says. “But we can wait for the bus, if you’d like.”

Gwil shakes his head, and blows out a breath, watching the small cloud form, and he smiles at Ben. “Of course not! We’re big strong men, aren’t we? We can handle a little cold!”

Ben playfully rolls his eyes, smiling at Gwil. “And will we be stopping by Starbucks on the way home for a hot chocolate, then?” he asks.

“Most certainly!” Gwil says happily, and Ben grins. “And how was everything today?”

“Oh, fine,” Ben says. 

Gwil nods, raising his eyebrows a bit, looking at Ben expectantly. “What did you talk about today?” he asks.

“We’ve started on historical accounting practices,” Ben says, and he looks over when Gwil makes a noise. “That’s why I didn’t say,” Ben says, laughing a bit. “It sounds horrible when I say it out loud.”

“Historical _accounting_ practices?” Gwil asks, and Ben just grins, shaking his head. “Good _god_ , mate. You know, Joe said you were uncool. I didn’t listen.”

“You should’ve,” Ben says, and Gwil chuckles.

“Well, tell me what you're doing,” Gwil says, “I need to keep up. _Why_ are you learning historical accounting practices?”

“It helps determine the date of the document,” Ben says. “And it helps if I need to convert currency.”

“Mm, fair enough,” Gwil says, nodding. “Well, as ever, it sounds like something I would never understand, and that you will be amazing at.”

Ben rolls his eyes again, but he smiles at the same time. Sometimes Gwil goes a bit overboard on the reassuring praise, but Ben knows he means well. And it’s better than the alternative, at least. Gwil shows actual _interest_ in the things he’s studying. “What about you?” he asks, nudging the messenger bag Gwil uses to carry his art supplies around in.

“Watercolours today,” Gwil says. “I was attempting a pear.”

“And?” Ben asks. “How did your attempt go?”

Gwil shrugs. “Looks a bit like a potato,” he says softly, and Ben grins. “But that’s alright. For a potato, it’s not that bad. Shit pear, though.”

Ben laughs, looking down at his feet as they continue the walk back down into town. It’s about twenty minutes, though they’re moving a bit quicker today to try to get home and out of the cold. They stop into Starbucks, each getting a hot chocolate, and then they head up to the flat, Ben leaning down to scratch at Blossom before he even takes his shoes off.

“Hi girl,” he says quietly, and then he toes his sneakers off so that he doesn’t have to set his hot chocolate down. “Hi, how are you? How’s your day?” He takes a sip of his drink, and then walks over to set it down on the kitchen table so that he can take off his jacket and set down his backpack. He takes another drink, and smiles as he feels Gwil’s arms wrap around his waist.

“Brr,” Gwil says softly, blowing on the back of Ben’s neck, “it’s so chilly out, isn’t it? How should we warm up?”

“Gwil,” Ben says, “why did we just buy hot chocolate if you plan on just letting it go cold anyway?”

“Oh, because I’m an idiot who loves spending money,” Gwil says, and Ben laughs.

“Well…” he says, and Gwil’s arms tighten around him. “Fine, fine, you’re not an idiot.” Ben sighs, turning around in Gwil’s arms, looking up at him. “How _should_ we warm up, then?” he asks.

“Well, if you’d come upstairs with me,” Gwil says, “I could show you.”

“Could you now,” Ben says flatly.

“I really do think you’d find it interesting,” Gwil says, and Ben has to smile.

“Fine,” Ben says. “Just a second.” He turns back around and grabs his drink again, taking a couple large gulps, then letting out a satisfied sigh. “Alright,” he says, “I’m good, let’s go.”

Gwil smiles at Ben, and leans in, kissing him. Gwil gently licks at his mouth until Ben is moaning softly, head tilted back, Gwil’s hand on his lower back, pulling him in. “You had some cream on your lip there,” Gwil says softly, pulling back.

“Already?” Ben asks, and Gwil laughs, giving him another quick kiss.

“Very funny,” Gwil says.

“Oh, I know,” Ben says. “I’m a lot funnier than people give me credit for.”

“That’s true,” Gwil says, and he pulls back, his hand sliding from Ben’s back over to his ass, giving him a gentle squeeze and a pat before he turns, starting towards the stairs. “Coming?” he calls out, glancing over his shoulder.

“Hopefully,” Ben says, and Gwil laughs again as Ben steals one more drink of hot chocolate before he follows Gwil up the stairs.

\+ + + + +

Gwil reaches over to grab his glasses, and then he sighs as he brings them up to his face. “Never need glasses, love,” he says. “Pain in my arse.” He grabs his glasses case and then take out the small cleaning cloth, breathing on the lenses as he wipes them down.

“I don’t want to think about what’s on them,” Ben says softly, flipping to the next page of Gwil’s sketchbook, and Gwil glances up, smiling.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten come on my glasses,” Gwil says, and Ben looks over at him, grinning.

“Are you expecting that to change soon?” Ben asks, and Gwil shrugs.

“I’m alright either way,” he says, winking at Ben.

Ben laughs softly, and looks back at Gwil’s sketchbook, reaching down to scratch his hip as he leans in, looking at the varying shades of purple in the small flower that looks to him a bit like a cake pop. “What’s this?” he asks, glancing over his shoulder again, and Gwil leans in.

“Allium,” Gwil says.

“Hmm,” Ben nods.

“Part of the onion family,” Gwil continues.

“Yummy,” Ben says softly, and Gwil smiles, reaching back to adjust his pillows, settling back against the headboard. Ben flips the page to the next sketch, one that Gwil has labelled in tiny neat handwriting as _freesia_. Ben runs his fingers over the yellow petals, and then makes a quiet noise, reaching up to scratch at his chest. He looks down at himself, and then back at the page. “Gwil?”

“Yes, love,” Gwil says, looking over.

“Are there flowers that you make you think of me?” Ben asks. “Or of us?”

Gwil smiles. “Of course there are,” he says, “you know that. Or have you forgotten our anniversary last year?”

Ben smiles. “No, never,” he says. “You’ve still got your ring on, haven’t you?”

“Always,” Gwil says, twisting his ring around his finger. “But of course there are. Daffodils, for one, of course.”

“Of course,” Ben says, looking at the next sketch.

“Oh, and forget-me-nots,” Gwil says, and Ben smiles.

“Can’t forget those,” Ben says, and Gwil grins.

“That sounds like something Joe would call a _dad joke_ ,” Gwil says, and Ben laughs.

“Joe would know,” Ben says, “he’s awful for them.”

“He does seem the type,” Gwil says, “from what I can tell.” He makes a quiet noise, watching Ben with a smile as he flips through the sketchbook. “Why?” he asks.

Ben looks over at Gwil, and then he closes the sketchbook and rolls over onto his other side, resting against Gwil. “I don’t like asking you for things,” he says quietly, and Gwil nods.

“I’ve noticed.”

“Especially since we literally _just_ had our anniversary, and Christmas is coming up,” Ben says. 

“And your birthday,” Gwil says.

“Mm, and that too,” Ben says. “Maybe it could be an early Christmas present.”

“What’s that?” Gwil asks, running his hand over Ben’s hair; his blond curls have a tendency to be a bit unruly after sex.

“Would you paint something for me?” Ben asks, looking up at Gwil.

“Of course,” Gwil says. “Flowers?”

Ben nods. “Whatever reminds you of us. Would that be alright?”

“It would be more than alright,” Gwil says, “I’d love to.”

“Like, a _real_ painting,” Ben says. 

Gwil makes a bit of a face, trying not to laugh. “As opposed to all the shit I usually paint, you mean?”

“No!” Be says quickly, pushing himself up a bit. “Oh, no, that’s not— I mean, like, not in a sketchbook. On a canvas or something. So we can hang it up. Like the tulips you’re painting for Tiwlip. I didn’t mean…everything you paint is real.” He looks down, and Gwil smiles, leaning in to cup Ben’s cheek, tilting his head up to give him a kiss.

“I know, love,” Gwil says softly, “I was just teasing. Maybe I shouldn’t have.” He rubs his thumb over Ben’s cheekbone. “And I certainly can, if you’d like. I’ll go to the Works and pick up a new canvas in the next couple days. Okay?”

Ben nods, smiling. “Okay,” he says. “I really didn’t mean to say that your paintings aren’t real.”

“I know,” Gwil says, and he smiles back, settling back against the headboard again, looking at Ben. “But it will be fun. And _no_ , it won’t be your Christmas present, or your birthday present. You’ll get something else for those.”

“I don’t need any of it,” Ben says. “I’d just like this, alright?”

Gwil smiles, and reaches out, trailing his fingers down over Ben’s arm. “All those things are already bought, love. And I don’t know how to return any of it.”

“Did you buy it online?” Ben asks. “You just—”

Gwil shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so, it sounds terribly difficult.”

“Gwil, just print a return label—”

Gwil shakes his head again, and he slides down the mattress, tugging the blankets up over his head. “I don’t know how!” he exclaims, and then he starts to laugh, while Ben groans.

“Gwil, you’re awful,” Ben says.

“I know,” Gwil says, pulling the blankets off his face, “but I rather enjoy it.” He smiles brightly up at Ben. “I’m not returning any of your gifts, so just stop it. And I will _happily_ paint you whatever you’d like.”

“Really?” Ben asks, and Gwil nods.

“Of course!” Gwil says, pushing himself back up. “It would be my pleasure. Just let me finish Tiwlip’s gift for her first.” He leans in, giving Ben a quick kiss, and then he pushes the blankets off his lap, standing up. “What should we have for supper?” he asks.

Ben stretches out under the blankets, groaning. “Tomato soup and grilled cheese,” he says, and Gwil glances over at him, smiling as he gets dressed.

“That doesn’t sound like any work at all,” Gwil says. “That’s all you want, soup and sandwich?”

“We can look online for really posh versions of a grilled cheese,” Ben says. “Though I imagine mine will still end up with bacon.”

Gwil laughs softly. “Alright,” he says. “We can do that.” He smiles, shaking his head in amusement as he tugs a shirt on. “Coming?” he asks.

Ben groans again but rolls out of bed, reaching down to grab his boxer briefs, hopping up and down as he pulls them on. He leans up, giving Gwil a quick kiss before he looks around to find his jumper.

“What sorts of posh things can you put on a grilled cheese?” Gwil asks, watching Ben get dressed.

“Don’t know, really,” Ben says. “But I guess we’ll find out!” He grins at Gwil, and Gwil just grins back.

“Guess so,” he says, and he gives Ben another kiss.

\+ + + + +

“Ho ho ho, Nadolig Llawen!” Gwil says cheerfully, waving at the children on his laptop, while Ben just smiles, shaking his head.

“What does that mean?” Noah asks, bouncing up and down on Rami’s knee, drumming his hands on the table they’re sitting at in Ginnie’s house.

“I bet it means Merry Christmas,” Leah says, “because he said _ho ho ho_ like Santa.”

“It does!” Gwil says, smiling proudly at Leah. “Very good. It’s Welsh.”

“It’s not Christmas yet though,” Matthew says. “Santa isn’t here.”

“No, you’re right,” Gwil says. “But it’s the Christmas season, isn’t it? Your nanny’s got her tree up, there’s gifts and lights! Is there snow there yet?”

“Some,” Leah says. “But not a lot.”

“There’s none here yet at all,” Gwil says.

“How come you don’t come with Uncle Joe and Uncle Rami?” Matthew asks.

“That’s my fault, Matty,” Ben says. “I still have schoolwork to do, so I can’t leave Aber just yet, I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Matthew says. “What sort of homework do you have?”

“Uh…” Ben looks around, a bit frantically, before he just grabs the astrophysics book off the table, holding it up to the camera. “I’m reading this,” he says, figuring that’s a bit easier to explain than historical accounting.

“What’s that?” Noah asks, leaning forward to look at the camera until the only thing Gwil and Ben can see on their screen are Noah’s eyes and Joe trying not to laugh at the edge of the frame.

“It’s a book about space,” Ben says.

“Oh, really?” Joe asks. “You’re reading books about _space_ now? Did you change programs since I left?” He grins at Ben.

“No,” Ben says, and he starts flipping through the pages. “But it’s really interesting.” He looks up at Joe. “In _fact_ ,” he says, “did you know that I have a favourite moon now?”

Joe rolls his eyes, but Rami leans forward with interest. “Do you really?” he asks eagerly. “Which one is it?”

“Desdemona,” Ben says, and Joe sighs.

“I’m not even going to acknowledge that,” he says.

“What planet is that for?” Matthew asks.

“Uranus,” Ben says. “A lot of its moons are named after Shakespearean characters. That’s what this book taught me. Do you know who Shakespeare is?”

Matthew and Noah both shake their heads, but Leah nods. “He’s a writer,” she says, and Ben smiles.

“He is, you’re right,” Ben says. “So, that’s what I’m learning. What sorts of things are you guys learning?”

“The names of shapes,” Leah says.

“My gym teacher is teaching us juggling,” Matthew says.

Noah just shrugs. “Uh…” He giggles. “I can add!”

“That’s _really_ good,” Ben says, “all of you. Good for you.”

“Thank you,” Matthew says.

“Do you think Santa is coming this year?” Gwil asks. “Have you all been good?”

“Uncle Joe’s been bad!” Noah says, and Joe’s mouth drops open while Rami starts to laugh.

“I have not!” Joe exclaims. “Who told you I was being bad?”

“I heard Nanny say it,” Noah says.

“Nanny said that?” Rami asks. “What did she say?”

“That she— that she baked a cake for church and Uncle Joe took _two_ slices,” Noah says, dramatically holding up two fingers very close to the camera.

Ben and Gwil immediately start laughing, while Joe just shakes his head, sputtering. “I— what— no— no, I didn’t! I didn’t!”

Rami laughs as well, nodding. “You did,” he says.

“One was for you!” Joe says. “What, a man can’t get his husband a slice of cake without being accused of a crime now?”

“I got my own!” Rami says. “And then you shrugged and ate both of yours anyway.”

“Wow, Joe,” Ben says, “real nice. Stealing from a _church_.”

“This house is full of traitors and liars,” Joe says, “and I won’t stand for it.”

“You’re certainly entertaining, Joe, I’ll give you that,” Gwil says. “Wow. What an exciting visit already!”

Joe just shakes his head, glaring at Noah, who’s just grinning at him. “I’m— have my bed ready, Ben, I’m coming home.”

“Have your what?” Ben asks. “I’m not your maid.”

“No, don’t go!” Matthew says, reaching out to take Joe’s hand. “Please stay.”

“Aww, that’s sweet, Joe,” Ben says. “See? You can’t leave! And you can get your own bed ready.”

“Okay, Matty,” Joe says, leaning in to kiss his forehead. “I’ll stay, just like I promised.”

“Okay, thank you,” Matthew says.

“You know, Matty,” Rami says, “you’ll still get presents from us, whether or not Uncle Joe stays.” He looks at the camera, winking.

“Oh!” Matthew says. “Oh okay. Bye, Uncle Joe.”

Joe makes a sound of shock, and Ben, Gwil, and Rami all start laughing again.

\+ + + + +

“Ahem,” Gwil says, clearing his throat as he sits down next to Ben at the table, smiling at him. “Sorry, love, am I interrupting?”

“No,” Ben says, closing his laptop, “it’s fine. I was just converting some pre-decimal currency.”

“Ah, right,” Gwil says, nodding. “That’s…good for you.”

Ben smiles at him. “Thanks,” he says, “I know how riveting it sounds.”

“It sounds brilliant,” Gwil says. “Just, supper’s ready now, if you’d like to clear that off?”

“Oh, sorry,” Ben says, pushing his chair back from the table. “I didn’t realize how close you were to being done. Oh, I’m sorry, I should’ve been paying more attention, that’s— I didn’t mean to ignore you.”

“Gosh love, it’s alright,” Gwil says, standing up as well. He reaches out, gently taking Ben’s hand. “I’m fine. If you’re not ready to eat we can just heat it up later.”

“No, sorry,” Ben says, “I’m actually starving, I just— let me tidy up.” He grabs his laptop and textbooks, moving them onto the coffee table in the living room, and then he walks back towards to the kitchen, but Gwil just stops him, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Stressed out?” Gwil asks softly.

“A little,” Ben says, resting his forehead against Gwil’s chest. “I hate…ugh, no, I won’t complain.”

“Why not?” Gwil asks. “I’m always here to listen.”

“I don’t want my job to be converting pre-decimal currency,” Ben says, “so I’m just a bit tired of it. But I know that it’s important and you have to learn all sorts of skills, even the ones you don’t plan on using in your job and…ugh.”

“A very mature way to think about it,” Gwil says. “Do you want to sit down and I’ll get supper ready?”

“Nope,” Ben says, shaking his head, pulling back. “I always help, you know that.”

Gwil smiles, watching Ben walk over to the kitchen, plating their food. Gwil pours their drinks and grabs a couple forks, walking over to the dining table, sitting down.

“Thank you,” Ben says, putting the plate down in front of Gwil, “it looks delicious.”

“You’re welcome,” Gwil says, smiling at Ben. “My pleasure.”

Ben sighs as he sits down next to Gwil, and takes a sip of Coke Zero before he digs into the homemade french fries Gwil’s made. He take a bite and groans softly, looking at Gwil. “I don’t know how you do it,” he says softly. “What are these— how do you make the best potatoes I’ve ever had? What do you _do_ in that kitchen?”

Gwil grins, and leans over, giving Ben a kiss. “It’s magic,” he says. 

“I believe it,” Ben says, taking another bite of fry before he picks up the burger Gwil’s made, Hawaiian teriyaki with a slice of grilled pineapple on top of a beef burger. “Fuck off,” he says, mouth full. “Bloody hell, Gwil. I can’t be—” He shakes his head. “Where’d you come up with this recipe, then?” He takes a sip of his drink, swallowing hard. “Delicious.”

“Joe’s idea,” Gwil says.

“Of course,” Ben says. “Well, it’s really good, thank you.” He wipes at his mouth with his napkin and then leans in, giving Gwil another quick kiss. “I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” Gwil says.

“I’m on supper duty tomorrow,” Ben says. “Don’t talk me out of it.”

“Never,” Gwil says, “I look forward to it.”

Ben smiles happily at him, and they continue eating, both of them finishing off their plates even as they complain about how full they are, but it’s just too good for them to stop. They tidy up, washing their dishes and cleaning off the table, and then Ben drops back down at the kitchen table, hand on his stomach.

“Stay there,” Gwil says, kissing Ben’s head as he walks by, heading into the living room. Ben turns, taking a sip of Coke Zero as he watches Gwil pick up a package that he had tucked by the sofa; how Gwil got it there without Ben noticing, or _when_ he did it, he has no idea. 

Ben can already guess what it is, just based on the size and shape of it. He smiles up at Gwil, trying to keep from crying before he even sees it.

“Here you are,” Gwil says, sitting back down next to Ben, holding the package out to him. “This is for you. An early Christmas gift, _but_ — not your actual Christmas gift.”

“Thank you,” Ben says softly, and he carefully slides his finger under the tape keeping the brown paper closed, and he slides the canvas out of it. The paper drops to the floor, and Ben smiles at the canvas, reaching up to wipe at his eyes.

“I went with watercolour,” Gwil says. “You weren’t specific, so I really wasn’t sure. I put down some ground on the canvas before I started, so I think it looks alright.”

“No, I…” Ben just shakes his head, looking at the painting. It’s four or five different flowers, beautifully coloured, and a few pieces of greenery to fill the bouquet, which Gwil has painted tied together with a piece of brown string. “Gwil, it’s _gorgeous_ , you—” He smiles, shaking his head again in disbelief. “It’s really pretty. Thank you.” He smiles up at Gwil. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, love,” Gwil says, “it was my pleasure.” He shifts in his chair, turning a bit more towards Ben, resting his arm on the back of Ben’s chair. “Do you want me to tell you what they mean?” he asks.

“The yellow are daffodils, right?” Ben asks, and Gwil nods. “And the blue are the forget-me-nots. I think. Right?”

“They are indeed,” Gwil says. “This one here,” he says, pointing to a deep purple flower, “is a cabbage flower.”

Ben immediately makes a face, looking up at Gwil. “Cab— _cabbage_?” he asks. “You— _what_?” He looks back at the painting; it’s still gorgeous, but he thinks it’s lost a bit of its… “Why did you put cabbage in it?” he asks.

“What do you mean?” Gwil asks. “I— I thought it was sort of romantic.”

“Really?” Ben asks. “What does it mean?”

Gwil looks at Ben, chuckling softly. “It means, it’s— it’s _us_. Colcannon. Cabbage. I— alright. Maybe not as romantic as I thought.”

“Oh,” Ben says softly, looking at the canvas again. “Oh, Gwil, that’s…oh, I see.” He smiles faintly. “That’s— that’s really sweet of you.”

“I know it’s sort of silly,” Gwil says, “and it doesn’t really grow on a stem like that, but that’s what it’s supposed to be. I just— I don’t know, it makes me think of you— of us, and that’s what you said you wanted, right?”

“Right,” Ben says, “no, Gwil, it’s perfect, I’m— no, sorry. I was just surprised.”

“That’s fair enough,” Gwil says. “I mean, cabbage itself isn’t really _that_ romantic.”

“Delicious, though,” Ben says. “At least when I cook it.” 

Gwil smiles. “Exactly.” He gently clears his throat, shifting a bit closer to Ben. “Those little ones are yarrow,” Gwil says, “they mean everlasting love.”

“Oh, Gwil,” Ben says softly. 

“That’s violet, of course,” Gwil says, “because it makes me think of Brooklyn, and the Shakespeare garden.”

“Right,” Ben says, nodding slowly.

“And the sprigs of thyme mean courage,” Gwil says. “Because I think…you’re very brave. And I think sometimes I am too.”

Ben grins, nodding again, resting against Gwil. “Gwil, it’s gorgeous,” he says. “They’re…you painted this for me— for _us_. Oh.”

“Where should we hang it up?” Gwil asks, looking around. “The living room is getting quite full with all the wedding photos. And we’ll have to save room for the baby.”

“Here,” Ben says, glancing at the wall behind them. “So we can see it when we eat. And just…it’s really lovely, Gwil. You’re so talented. Even if you weren’t, I…this is really beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Gwil says. “I don’t suppose a painting of insects would interest you nearly as much?”

“No, probably not,” Ben says with a smile, shaking his head. “I— thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Gwil says again. “It really wasn’t a big deal, Ben, I was happy to do it.”

“It’s a big deal to me,” Ben says. “Really.”

“Okay,” Gwil says, and he shifts closer to Ben, leaning in to take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Ben’s shampoo as he nuzzles his nose through his hair. “You’re really welcome then.”

Ben smiles, just looking down at the canvas in awe; he wants to clutch it to his chest, but he just holds it in his hands, nodding slowly. It’s gorgeous, he thinks. Of _course_ it is. He’s so happy.

\+ + + + +

Ben opens his emails, scanning over the subject lines. He deletes a few, and then sees one that he’s been waiting and hoping for, opening it. He quickly reads over it, and then immediately smiles, shifting happily on the sofa, kicking his feet a couple times. He looks up when Gwil comes walking down the stairs, and then he shuts his laptop.

“What’s going on?” Gwil asks, glancing over at him as he walks towards the kitchen.

“Nothing!” Ben says. “Just looking at my emails.”

“You look pretty happy for an email,” Gwil says. “Do you want a drink?”

“No, I’m fine, I have one, thanks,” Ben says. “And it’s nothing, really. I’m just in a good mood today!”

Gwil leans back from the refrigerator, looking at Ben with a smile. “Good!” he says. “Good, I like to hear that. I like you in a good mood.”

“I like _being_ in a good mood,” Ben says. He pushes his laptop off his lap and then stands up, walking over to Gwil. “But no, it’s just about a study group at school. When they’re available to meet up in a few days. We’re all…free at the same time.”

“Oh,” Gwil says, nodding. “Good. That’s always helpful.”

“Yeah, I think so,” Ben says. “It’ll be fun.”

“Alright, cheers to that,” Gwil says, taking a drink, and Ben just smiles at him, then glances over at the painting, freshly hung up on the wall.

“Yes,” Ben says, looking back at Gwil. “It’s really something to look forward to.”

“Good,” Gwil says, and he leans in, giving Ben a quick kiss as he walks by, heading back towards the sofa. Ben smiles, and follows after him.

\+ + + + +

Ben rubs his hand up over his bare arm, shivering a bit when he looks out the bedroom window. He grabs a zip-up hoodie, tugging that on over his t-shirt, and then he looks around their room, patting his pockets to make sure he’s got his wallet and his phone. He smiles over at Mustardseed, resting in the middle of their bed, looking extra small compared to the size of the massive mattress. “What do you think?” he asks. He walks over, reaching out to give her a quick pet. “Yes, I know,” he says, “lovely, isn’t it? Yes, you’re a good girl. Yes, I’ll be home later.” He pets her again and then glances into the second bedroom as he walks by, but he doesn’t see Peaseblossom.

“Hello,” Gwil says, looking up from the dining table as Ben walks downstairs, watching him walk to the door, grabbing his trainers. “Oh, alright, goodbye then.”

“Sorry,” Ben says, looking over at him as he tugs on his shoes. “I thought I said I was going to campus today. The study group?"

“Oh, yes, of course,” Gwil says. “I guess I didn’t realize what time it was.”

Ben finishes tying his trainers and then walks over to Gwil, leaning in to give him a kiss. “I don’t know what time I’ll be done for sure,” he says. “But I can text you when I’m on the way. Do you want me to pick up anything on the way back?”

“Uh, not sure,” Gwil says, leaning back in his chair to look up at Ben. “I may run out and get something too. Can I let you know?”

“Of course,” Ben says. “But it’ll be easier for me,” he says, “so don’t put yourself out.” He kisses him again. “I love you.”

“Love you, too,” Gwil says, smiling up at him. “Have fun.”

Ben huffs a laugh. “Yes, I’m sure it will be absolutely riveting,” he says, walking back over to the door. “Message me if anything comes up!”

“Of course,” Gwil says, and he gives Ben a wave.

Ben smiles back, waving as well as he steps out into the hallway. “Bye,” he says, pulling the door shut. He zips up his jacket and pats his pockets again, heading downstairs. He smiles as he walks by Brian’s door, and then steps outside. He shivers a bit and then turns left down Great Darkgate. The street is busy today; he thinks it must be people out shopping for Christmas. He walks just a couple minutes down the road, and then he turns right, looking around. It’s just a short walk, and he swallows hard before he pulls the door open, looking up when he hears the door chime.

“Hey, man,” the man behind the front desk says, looking over at Ben. “How are you today?”

“Good, thanks,” Ben says, nodding. “Uh, my name’s Ben, I have an appointment with Eilidh?”

“Sure, just take a seat,” the man says, gesturing to the small sofa against the wall. “I’ll go let her know.”

“Thank you,” Ben says quietly, sitting down. He unzips his jacket as he waits, and then he just shrugs it off, starting to fidget with the hem of his hoodie.

“Hi, Ben,” Eilidh says, coming down the staircase towards him, as the man follows behind her, heading back over to the front desk. “How are you?”

“Good, thanks,” Ben says again, standing up to shake her hand. “How are you?”

“Great,” Eilidh says. “Excited?”

Ben smiles a bit, nodding. “I am, yeah.”

“Good,” she says. “I’m just setting up a bit, but…” Eilidh walks over to the front desk, grabbing an iPad, unlocking it and handing it over to Ben. “If you just want to read and sign this. Can I get you a drink? Then we can go upstairs.”

“Uh, a drink?” Ben asks. “No, I’m fine, thank you.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” Eilidh says. “No need to hurry.”

“Thank you,” Ben says, and he sits back down again, looking over the consent form. He fills out his information at the top, nodding as he scrolls down. He smiles a bit as he can sort of feel his mind shifting back into lawyer mode, wondering if there’s any case law about this sort of thing, whether or not it would hold up in court or if it’s just something they make you sign. He answers everything and then signs his name with his finger, and then looks up. 

“Done?” the man asks, and Ben nods, standing up and handing the iPad back to him. “Great, thanks. She’ll just be a second.”

“Yeah, no worries,” Ben says, pacing around a bit, looking at the art on the walls, and then Eilidh comes back in, smiling.

“All set?” she asks, and Ben nods. “Come on up.” She turns, leading Ben up the narrow staircase into a small room, her name on the door in large calligraphy letters. “The bathroom is just down the hall on the left if you need it.”

“I’m alright for now, thanks,” Ben says. “Maybe in a bit if I need a break.”

“Of course,” she says. “Oh, let me.” She takes Ben’s jacket from him, hanging it up, and then she closes the door. “Take a seat,” she says, and Ben sits down on the edge of the table, and she sits down in her chair, picking up her iPad. “So, here is what I’ve got,” she says, showing him the screen. “Which is basically just the painting, obviously.”

“Yeah,” Ben says, nodding.

“So, I’ve matched the colours to the ink I have as well as I can,” Eilidh says, gesturing to her desk where the tiny ink pots are set up. “So, it should look just like the painting. I also have this one…” She swipes her finger on the screen, showing a different version of the same image. “This one just has a bit more colour accents in the background,” she says. “Just in case you wanted to add something to it.”

“No, I— I like the first one,” Ben says. “Just the way he painted it.”

“Great,” Eildih says. “I’ll print the stencil off now then. Can I see your arm again?” 

“Oh, sure,” Ben says, and he takes off his hoodie, pushing up the sleeve of his t-shirt. “My left,” he says, and she nods, reaching out to grab some hand sanitizer.

“Can I touch you?” she asks, rubbing her hands together, and Ben nods. She gently takes his arm in her hands, murmuring to herself, and then she nods, grabbing her iPad again. She taps the screen a couple times, and then the printer on her desk starts to whir, a piece of tattoo paper slowly going through it. She picks it up off the desk and then peels the stencil off. She carefully cuts around it, and then holds it up to the back of Ben’s arm, checking the sizing and positioning. “What do you think?” she asks, showing it to him. “Want to see it on?”

Ben smiles, and nods. “Yeah,” he says, and Eilidh smiles back. She preps Ben’s arm, wiping it down and then rubbing some stencil lotion on him. She takes the stencil, and carefully presses it to Ben’s arm, gently patting it onto the skin. She gently peels the stencil off, nice and slow, and then smiles. 

“Do you want to see how that looks?” she asks, and Ben nods, standing up, turning to look at his arm in the mirror. “Do you want me to move it, change the size?”

Ben shakes his head, smiling. “No,” he says, “I like it.”

“Okay, great,” Eilidh says, “so let’s just let that dry. I’m going to go grab a drink, are you still good?”

“Yeah,” Ben says, still looking at himself in the mirror, “I’m great.”

“Good, I’ll be right back.” Eilidh walks out of the room, and Ben just smiles. His fingers itch to gently touch the stencil, but he knows not to, not wanting to smear the lines He just sits back down on the table, taking out his mobile. He’s got his earbuds as well, just in case he needs to listen to something to calm down, but he thinks that Eilidh seems nice enough, they could probably chat.

Eilidh comes back in, smiling at him. She checks on the stencil, and then directs him to lay down on the table on his stomach. “Are you comfortable like this?” she asks, putting on a pair of gloves.

“Yeah, this is fine,” Ben says, wiggling a bit. 

“We can break whenever you want,” she says, and Ben nods. He turns his head to the side on the small pillow, looking at Eilidh bring her chair over to him, sitting down. She gently touches his arm again, repositioning it, and then she smiles at him, starting to prep his arm. “Nervous?” she asks carefully.

“I don’t know,” Ben says. “No?”

Eilidh laughs. “Which part are you unsure of?”

“I know I can handle the pain,” Ben says. “Well, I hope. I’m mostly worried that…” He shifts a bit on the table, stomach clenching when he hears the first whir of the needles, Eilidh just testing the speed of the machine. “It’s a surprise.”

“Is it?” Eilidh asks. “For the person who painted it?”

Ben nods, smiling faintly, and Eilidh lets out a quiet excited noise. “What?” Ben asks.

“I know that smile,” Eilidh says. “That’s a _love_ smile.”

“It is, yeah,” Ben says softly. He shifts a bit as Eilidh readjusts his arm again, and he looks at her hands on him. “He doesn’t know I’m here today. I’m going to show him later on.”

“That’s sweet,” Eilidh says. “It’s a really good painting. He’s talented.”

“Thank you,” Ben says. “He’s only been doing it for a couple months, but he’s just…” He swallows. “Good at everything.”

“Oh, one of _those_ people,” she says with a smile, and Ben smiles back.

“Yeah,” Ben says, “but he’s pretty great otherwise.”

Eilidh smiles. “Are you ready?” she asks, hitting the pedal a couple more times.

Ben nods. “I am.”

“Alright,” she says, “let me know.”

“I will.” Ben gently clears his throat, shifting a bit. He closes his eyes at the first press of the needle against his skin, but then he opens them again, watching Eilidh.

“Okay?” she asks, and Ben nods. 

“Yeah,” he says. He takes a deep breath, settling a bit. “Stings,” he says after a few moments.

Eilidh laughs, nodding. “It does,” she says. “But you’re doing well.” She stops and starts a few times, gently wiping the excess ink from his skin. “Did you pick the flowers?” she asks.

“No,” Ben says. “He’s a— he’s a botanist. He’s really into like, the language of flowers. What they mean. I just asked him to paint some that makes him think of us, or me.”

“Wow, a botanist,” Eilidh says. “I don’t know any of those. _And_ he paints.”

Ben smiles again. “Yeah, he is sort of one of a kind.”

Eilidh grins, wiping at Ben’s arm again. “What do you think he’ll think of this?” he asks.

“I really don’t know,” Ben says. “He doesn’t have any tattoos, but he doesn’t mind mine. I hope he’ll think it’s sweet. Either way, he’s really supportive, so…”

“God, does he have a brother?” Eilidh asks, and Ben grins.

“You should see him,” he says, and Eilidh laughs.

“You can show me pictures when we’re done,” she says, and Ben laughs, trying not to move too much on the table.

\+ + + + +

“Let me,” Gwil says, opening the door for Ben, leaning in to give him a kiss.

“I could’ve gotten that,” Ben says.

“Your hands are full,” Gwil says.

“Why were you _right_ by the door?” Ben asks, smiling.

“I was at the table,” Gwil says, gesturing towards his laptop. “Anyway. How are you?”

“Great, thank you,” Ben says. “I got Fusion King,” he says, holding the bag up.

“Thank you,” Gwil says, and he takes the bag from Ben, setting it down on the table. “How were things on campus?”

“Uh,” Ben blinks a couple times, pausing in his movements. “yeah. It’s alright.” He gently clears his throat, shrugging off his jacket. “How’re you and the girls? Get up to anything?” he asks.

“Not much, no,” Gwil says. “I sat down at the computer and then blinked and it was a couple hours later.”

Ben smiles. “That happens. I’ve lost entire weeks that way.” Gwil grins. “And what were you looking at?”

“I…” Gwil shifts on his feet, looking away.

“God, what was it?” Ben asks. “Porn?”

“No!” Gwil says quickly. “I was watching funny cat videos.”

Ben laughs. “Oh, I see. And where are the girls?” he asks.

“Tired out,” Gwil says, gesturing towards the living room, where they’re curled up on the floor. 

“From making funny cat videos?” Ben asks, and Gwil laughs softly.

“ _No_ ,” he says. “So, are you hungry now?”

“Starving,” Ben says.

They get their drinks and plates out, and sit down together, eating. Ben hopes that Gwil doesn’t ask him too much about the study group; he doesn’t feel comfortable lying for _too_ much longer, at least not in detail, so Ben just keeps asking Gwil about the cat videos he spent the day watching.

After they finish eating and tidy up, washing the dishes and giving the cats a treat, they settle onto the sofa to watch some television. Ben snuggles against Gwil, and he is watching the TV, but he’s also glancing at the clock; he thought that he would wait until bedtime to take his bandage off and show Gwil then, but the longer he waits, the harder that seems. He really wants to show Gwil, and he really wants to know what he thinks of it.

“Be right back,” Ben says, pushing himself up, walking upstairs. He goes to the bathroom, taking off his hoodie, and looking at his arm. He carefully peels off his bandage, gently washes the tattoo, patting it dry, and then he turns to look at his arm again. 

He’s still sort of nervous, but there’s also a lot of happiness bubbling up in him. He absolutely loves it. He loves that it’s Gwil’s work, he loves that the flowers have meaning, and honestly, he really loves that he can look himself in the mirror and just feel…nice. It’s nice. He feels like _he’s_ the art.

Ben smiles and nods at himself in the mirror, leaving the hoodie behind, and then he flicks the bathroom light off, walking back downstairs to the living room. “Gwil?” he asks.

Gwil looks over at him, giving him a smile. “Yes, love.”

“Can I show you something?” Ben asks, and Gwil straightens up, reaching out to turn off the television, obviously hearing something in Ben’s tone that tells him it’s serious.

“Yes, of course,” Gwil says. “I…” He swallows hard, giving Ben a nervous smile. “Are you alright?” he asks, trying to sound positive.

Ben nods. “I am, actually, yeah. I’m really well.” He smiles at Gwil, and then looks down, fumbling with the hem of his shirt. “I’m not sure how to— actually, uh.” Gwil pushes himself up, and Ben nods. “Yeah, maybe that’s best, actually.” Ben swallows nervously, and then turns around, tugging off his shirt.

“Wha—” Gwil shakes his head a bit, but then Ben moves his arm, and Gwil’s eyes are drawn to it. “I…” Gwil walks up behind Ben, carefully taking Ben’s arm in his hand. He reaches up with his other hand, pushing his glasses up.

“Gentle,” Ben says softly, looking down at the floor, holding his shirt in his hands. “It’s still stings a bit.”

“Ben, I…” Gwil lets out a breath, looking at the flowers on Ben’s arm, recognizing them immediately as the painting hanging on their wall. The painting that _he_ did. Tears spring to his eyes, and then he sniffles. “Uh…” 

Ben shifts on his feet, and lifts his head. “You’re quiet.”

“I’m sorry,” Gwil says, “I’m— I’m speechless.”

“Good speechless?” Ben asks hopefully. “Or…bad.”

“No, good,” Gwil says, “very good. Ben, I— when was this? Today?”

Ben nods. “I didn’t go to campus,” he says. “I’m sorry I lied. But I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Well, you succeeded,” Gwil says. “Ben, that’s…permanent.”

Ben turns around, looking up at Gwil. “And we’re not?” he asks.

“No, I— we are,” Gwil says, nodding. “I— absolutely. We absolutely are. Yarrow, everlasting love.”

Ben smiles, nodding. “Yeah, exactly, so…do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” Gwil says. “I…wow. I— Ben, I— _wow_. Let me look again.” 

Ben laughs and turns around again.

“Who did this?” Gwil asks. 

“Her name is Eilidh,” Ben says, “she works on Chalybeate Street. She really liked your painting, she said you’re good. I already knew that, though, obviously.”

“Did it hurt?” Gwil asks.

Ben shakes his head. “Not as much as my first one, no.”

“Ben, I…” Gwil smiles and he leans in, pressing a kiss to Ben’s arm, just above the tattoo. “I wish I’d known, I would’ve— I don’t even know. Done a better job, I…”

“No,” Ben says, turning around, looking at Gwil. “It’s a beautiful painting, and it means the world to me. It’s perfect.”

“Did you know you were planning on a tattoo when you asked me to paint it for you?” Gwil asks.

Ben nods. “I did, yeah.” He smiles at Gwil. “I had faith in you.” 

Gwil grins, giving Ben a quick kiss. “I…wow. Ben, I don’t even know what to say.”

Ben shrugs, smiling up at him. “It’s…as long as you don’t hate it, I don’t—”

“No, I love it,” Gwil says. “How could I hate it? It’s a— well, I’ll take it as a compliment. My— I painted something! And it’s— wow.” He reaches up, his hand on his chin, shaking his head in disbelief. “Wow. And you look—” He clears his throat. “It looks beautiful _on_ you, but honestly, I…”

Ben bites on his lip, smiling up at him. “It means a lot to me. _You_ mean a lot to me.”

“Oh, love,” Gwil says, “I never— I like to hear it, but I never doubted it.” He smiles at Ben. “You— I don’t even know what to say. You certainly know how to make a bloke feel appreciated.”

“Good,” Ben says softly. “I…” He gently clears his throat and then looks down, realizing that his shirt is still in his hands. He doesn’t move to put it back on, though. “I already feel better.”

“Better how?” Gwil asks, cocking his head to the side a bit. “About what?”

Ben shrugs. “Me,” he says. “I— myself.”

Gwil looks at Ben with a confused smile. “I…I thought you were feeling better about yourself already,” he says, and he glances over at his shoulder to a photo of the four of them at the wedding hanging up on the wall. “What do you mean?”

“Just…” Ben shrugs again, and then shivers, and decides to pull his shirt on again, just because he’s standing in his living room, shirtless, in December.

“Sit, come here,” Gwil says, and he takes Ben’s hand, leading him over to the sofa. Ben sighs a bit, though honestly he knew this conversation was coming; he _wants_ to have it. He just also…doesn’t. Gwil sits down on the sofa and Ben sits down next to him, bringing his feet up. Gwil smiles and squeezes his hand. “Tell me.”

“I…” Ben shrugs. “I— you’re right, I’ve been feeling better about myself. For awhile. Going back to uni has helped. Seeing myself look like that at the wedding helped. Seeing how _you_ looked _at_ me at the wedding helped. And this is…I wanted to do this to…” He just looks at Gwil. “I like that part of my body is now…” He trails off again, unsure of how to phrase it. “I’m excited to look at myself in the mirror and be really happy about what I see. And that— your painting, on my skin, it makes me happy. It makes me feel…really good about myself. I’ve only had it for a few hours and I— I already feel…lighter? I don’t know. And my first tattoo, it’s…dark. Literally, it is black,” he says, rolling his eyes at himself, “but I mean I got it when I wasn’t happy. But this is…light. And pretty colours. And I got it because I love you.” Ben smiles nervously at Gwil. “Did any of that make sense?” he asks softly.

“It all made sense, love,” Gwil says. “It made sense, and I’m really happy for you. It’s a beautiful tattoo, if I do say so myself.”

Ben smiles and moves forward, settling on Gwil’s lap, snuggling against him. “Thank you,” Ben says, pressing a kiss to Gwil’s chest. “For the painting, and for everything.”

“My pleasure, love,” Gwil says, wrapping an arm around Ben’s lower back, pulling him in. “I think I’m still a little stunned.”

“In a good way?” Ben asks.

Gwil nods. “In a _very_ good way.” He makes a quiet noise, thinking. “Has Joe heard about this?” he asks.

Ben shakes his head. “Of course not,” he says. “I told you first.”

Gwil smiles. “I sort of like that,” he says.

“I’ll show him when he comes back at Christmas,” Ben says. “And he’ll make fun of me, and I’ll tell him to bugger off, and all will be well.”

“He is a predictable sort,” Gwil says. “Not you, though. I really thought you’d just gone to campus. And then you come back with that.” He smiles at Ben. “I’m impressed.”

“Do you _really_ like it?” Ben asks.

“Yes, of course I do,” Gwil says. “I really do.” He smiles at Ben. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop looking at it.”

Ben grins. “That’s alright,” he says. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop showing it off.” He laughs a bit and gives Gwil a kiss. “That’s a new sort of feeling for me.”

“It is,” Gwil says, “but I love it. I’m really happy, Ben. And not just because I love seeing your smile, but…” He reaches out, cupping Ben’s face in his hand, brushing his thumb over Ben’s cheekbone. “I’ve always wanted you to see yourself the way everyone else does.”

Ben nods. “I think I’m starting to,” he says. “Or, I am.”

“Good,” Gwil says, and he pulls Ben in closer to him, and Ben takes a deep breath, snuggling against him. “I feel a bit shit now.”

“What?” Ben asks. “Why?”

“Well, now I’ve got to come up with some big romantic gesture,” Gwil says. “And that one will be hard to beat.”

Ben grins. “Just make me my favourite dinner, and my favourite dessert, and hook up a never-ending supply of Coke Zero, and I’ll be alright.”

Gwil laughs softly, nodding. “Alright,” he says. “I can do that.” He kisses Ben temple, making a quiet noise, unable to believe how lucky he is. And how happy Ben seems to be.

\+ + + + +

Over the next few days, Ben can’t stop looking at himself in the mirror, which is certainly a strange new feeling for him. He’s careful not to touch it too much, or let Gwil, since it hasn’t completely healed yet, but it’s hard not to. He’s sort of in awe of the fact that something so small could mean so much to him already, _change_ him so much already. Gwil seems mesmerized by it as well, and Ben finds him looking at it more often than not. It makes Ben smile, and Gwil too. Ben really likes that feeling.

“Brr!” Gwil says, walking into the flat, dramatically shivering. “Hello, girls! Oh hello! Yes, I’m home, hello.” He leans down, picking Mustardseed up, giving her a kiss before he sets her back down, reaching down to untie his boots. “Hello, love.”

“Hi,” Ben says from the kitchen, waving at him before continuing to chop carrots.

Gwil inhales deeply, unwinding his scarf. “Good god, love, that smells _amazing_.”

Ben smiles happily over at him. “Thank you,” he says. “I’m trying to be a bit more…ambitious.”

“What is it?” Gwil asks, walking over to him.

“Beef and Guinness stew,” Ben says. “It’s in the oven right now, I’m just chopping carrots and potatoes to toss in soon.”

“Wow,” Gwil says. “I— I was only gone for a few hours, I didn’t think I’d be coming back in to _this_.”

Ben shrugs and smiles, leaning up to give Gwil a quick kiss. “I don’t know,” he says. “Why not? Especially when it’s so chilly out.”

“Well, thank you,” Gwil says. “Let me get a bit comfier and I can help you chop.”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” Ben says.

“Oh, no, no,” Gwil says, shaking his head up as he walks upstairs. “I’ll be right back!”

Ben smiles down at Mustardseed, who he can feel tickling his feet. “What are you up to?” he asks. “What’s going on? Kitties don’t eat carrots, these are for us. Don’t worry, I saved some beef for you and your sister.”

After a couple minutes, Gwil comes back downstairs, wearing thick socks, a pair of grey joggers, and a jumper, and he smiles at Ben. “Alright,” he says, clapping his hands together. “Let me in.”

“Gwil, after all the times you cook for me,” Ben starts.

“Oh, love, let me chop some potatoes,” Gwil says, and Ben sighs, stepping aside to make room for him at the counter.

“How were your appointments?” Ben asks, peeling another carrot, looking over at Gwil, who had booked everything he needed to do before Christmas, like an eye appointment and the dentist, for the same day just to get it out of the way.

“Brilliant, thanks,” Gwil says. “I’d ask how your day was going but it looks quite productive. And delicious.”

Ben smiles. “I hope it’s good,” he says. “Thought it sounded alright.”

Gwil nods. “Do you want the skins left on the potatoes or no?” he asks.

“On is fine,” Ben says, “I don’t mind.”

“Alright,” Gwil says, and he grabs another cutting board, and a knife. He chops one potato up, and then he sighs, pushing the sleeves of his jumper up. He chops up another potato, pushing it to the side as he watches Ben. Gwil glances down at his arm, and then gently clears his throat. 

“Hmm,” Ben murmurs, glancing at Gwil. “Yeah?” Gwil glances down at his left arm again with a pointed look, and Ben follows his eyes, doing a double-take when he sees Gwil’s forearm, wrapped in a clear bandage. He drops his knife and then grabs Gwil’s arm, pulling it towards him. “What— oh my god, Gwil, what is that?”

“I have a knife, love,” Gwil says, carefully setting it down on the counter. 

“Gwil!” Ben says, looking up at him. “I— what is that? Is that real?”

“Yes, of course,” Gwil says, and he smiles at Ben. “I took your recommendation, and went to Eilidh.”

“I— my— I didn’t—” Ben looks up at Gwil in disbelief. “That’s a _tattoo_.”

“It is,” Gwil nods.

“On your arm.”

“Yes.”

“Of a— moon?” Ben asks, leaning in. “A moon. The Moon?”

“No, not _the_ Moon,” Gwil says. “But yes, _a_ moon.” He smiles at Ben. “Do you want to guess which one?”

Ben looks up at Gwil, his fingers still holding tight to Gwil’s forearm. “I don’t…uh. Luyten’s? I suppose, is my guess.”

“No,” Gwil says, shaking his head. “It’s Desdemona.”

“It’s— what?” Ben asks, and he lets go of Gwil’s arm, but then immediately takes it again, looking at it closely.

“She tried to copy it as closely as possible,” Gwil says, “though, I know, a moon is a moon, and unless we’re talking about Pluto’s, they’re all pretty much the same shape. But still, I— I know which one it is.” He smiles at Ben. “Your favourite.”

“Gwil, that’s—” Ben looks up at him, just shaking his head. “You didn’t…your first tattoo. Oh, I hope you like it, do you? It’s— wow, it’s really good.”

“It is,” Gwil says, “and I do, yeah.”

Ben smiles. “Did it hurt?”

“Not as terribly as I expected,” Gwil says. “Though not entirely pleasant.”

Ben just shakes his head, still grinning. “Gwil, you got a _tattoo_.”

“I did,” Gwil says. 

“For me,” Ben says softly. “That’s…a Shakespearean moon.”

Gwil nods. “It is,” he says. “ _Othello_.”

Ben lets out a quiet breath, and brings Gwil’s arm up a bit closer to his face, gently touching the tattoo through the bandage. “It’s so pretty,” he says. He lets go of Gwil’s arm, and then looks up at him. “What’s, uh, just…why?” he asks.

Gwil smiles, shrugging. “I…I don’t know,” he says. “It seemed romantic. You’ve got flowers, I’ve got Shakespeare.”

Ben bites on his bottom lip. “But nobody will know it’s Desdemona,” he says.

Gwil shrugs again. “So?” he asks. “Nobody knows why you’ve got a cabbage flower on your arm. But we do.”

Ben looks at him for another moment, before he grins and practically jumps up, wrapping his arms around Gwil, pulling him in. “I love it,” he says.

“Good,” Gwil says, and he tightens his arms around Ben, though he’s careful with his left arm. “If I’d went and gotten a tattoo and you hated it, god, I’d feel a bit daft.” He kisses Ben’s temple, taking a deep breath, and then Ben pulls back, giving him a kiss.

“I don’t hate it, it’s really sweet,” Ben says.

“Good,” Gwil says. “Though I’m terribly afraid you’re stuck with me now, because it’s permanent.”

Ben smiles. “I’m not stuck,” he says. “Everlasting love, remember?”

“Right,” Gwil says softly, smiling. “How could I forget?”

“I don’t know,” Ben says. “Forget-me-nots.”

Gwil’s smile grows, and he kisses Ben again. “We’ve got a stew to tend to.”

Ben sighs and turns back to the counter, picking up his knife. “Aren’t you the romantic,” he says, and it sounds like a joke, but he doesn’t really mean it as one. Gwil’s got a tattoo of a moon on his arm just for Ben, and Ben thinks that’s pretty romantic. He looks over at Gwil, smiling brightly, and he just feels nothing but joy when Gwil smiles back. Ben’s pretty sure Gwil told him the plant for that was marjoram. Maybe they’ll try growing it someday.

**Author's Note:**

> So this actually came about because two months ago (to the day, actually, not intentional), someone on tumblr asked for Harlee fluff, and my first thought was Gwil painting flowers on Ben, and then! I immediately thought of Ben getting a tattoo of Gwil's painting, and I've been excited to write it ever since. I've wanted to include Ben's second tattoo in the story somehow for awhile, but his actual tattoo doesn't really make sense for this version of Ben, so I was really happy to come up with this.
> 
> Gwil's painting/Ben's tattoo is inspired by [this one](https://stayglam.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Floral-Bouqet.jpg), by @tattooist_silo, but with the flowers Gwil picked out. Gwil's tattoo is just a realistic black-and-grey full moon — there are no good photos of Desdemona now, but by 2041, there might be! 
> 
> I just really like the boys being happy and in love and I know this is cheesy but I smiled so much while I wrote it, I literally could not stop writing it, it made me so happy. I really, really like writing Ben as comfortable and secure and really liking himself now! And Gwil just being proud and in love. After the wedding, Ben and Gwil deserve some fluff too. Just a couple days ago, someone on tumblr asked that I write something with Gwil being proud of Ben and how far he's come and vice versa, and I'd already had this written, and I felt it really fits that.
> 
> The next thing I'm writing is a different story for a fic exchange, but then I'll return to this. Hopefully the fluff in this can hold you over. Thank you for reading! I hope it made you smile 💐🌑


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